Pop culture has always had a knack for oversimplifying for mass consumption. Whether it’s turning a dystopian future into a glamorous fashion statement (re: Hunger Games) or pairing up an old man with an 18 year old actress – we’ve seen it all. But when it comes to mental health, things get a bit more… delicate. And by delicate, I mean it’s like watching someone attempt a tightrope walk over a pit of crocodiles with a blindfold on. Spoiler alert: most of them fall in.

First, let’s acknowledge the progress. Gone are the days when characters with mental health issues were exclusively the villains, complete with maniacal laughs and questionable fashion choices (have you watched A Clockwork Orange?). Today, mental health is getting a more nuanced portrayal—sometimes. We see characters dealing with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), all in the comfort of our living rooms. Take a look at Dani’s character arc in Midsommar; the raw portrayal of female rage by Florence Pugh makes you shift in your seat, to say the least.

But here’s the catch: for every Bojack Horseman (a show that nails the depiction of depression with painful accuracy), there’s a Split (a film that might as well have titled itself “How to Offend and Misrepresent Every Mental Health Professional in One Sitting”). So, while progress has been made, it’s often a case of two steps forward, one step back, and a plié into a cliché.

The need for accurate mental health representation in the media isn’t just a trendy talking point for keyboard warriors. It’s crucial because, like it or not, pop culture shapes public perception. If all you know about schizophrenia comes from The Shining, then we have a problem.

Accurate representation can lead to greater understanding and empathy, reducing the stigma that has historically surrounded mental health issues. Instead of seeing someone with depression as a sad person who just needs to “cheer up,” or viewing a person with anxiety as a neurotic mess, we begin to understand that these are real, complex conditions that deserve understanding, not judgement. This is a major reason why Dear Zindagi was so well received by the audiences. It normalised therapy!

So, how do we fix this? For starters, writers and creators should do their homework. And no, binge-watching a few episodes of Mentalist doesn’t count as research. Talk to mental health professionals, consult with people who live with these conditions, and—this might sound crazy—listen to them. Understanding the nuances and complexities of mental health is key to avoiding the cringe-worthy stereotypes that make viewers want to throw their remote at the screen.

Also, while we’re on the subject, can we please stop romanticising mental illness? No one’s anxiety attack is a quirky character trait, and depression doesn’t make someone a mysterious misfit; it makes them, well, depressed.

When it comes to mental health in the media, with great power comes great responsibility. Creators have the power to influence how millions of people perceive mental health, and with that power comes an ethical responsibility to get it right. This isn’t just about avoiding lawsuits or backlash on social media; it’s about recognizing the impact that pop culture has on real lives.

There are, thankfully, some gems in the vast landscape of pop culture that have managed to get it right. Movies like Inside Out cleverly personify emotions, offering a nuanced exploration of how our feelings shape our experiences, making it accessible yet profoundly insightful. Winnie the Pooh subtly touches on various mental health issues through its beloved characters—Eeyore’s persistent sadness and Piglet’s anxiety are treated with warmth and understanding. A Beautiful Boy delves into the heartbreaking realities of addiction and its impact on both the individual and their family, while The Perks of Being a Wallflower poignantly captures the complexities of trauma, depression, and the search for identity during adolescence. These films don’t just represent mental health—they invite us to empathize, to understand, and to see the humanity behind the struggles. This is the kind of representation that not only gets it right but also moves the conversation forward in a meaningful way.

So, to all the screenwriters, directors, and producers out there: do us all a favour and step up your game. Because when it comes to mental health, your work can either be a beacon of understanding or a giant, flaming dumpster fire. Your choice.

The post The Good, The Bad, and The Cringeworthy first appeared on Karma Care.

In an era where pixels bridge gaps, building intimacy through digital means has become a significant aspect of our social interactions and individual well-being. It is now commonplace to develop deep, intimate relationships with individuals who are thousands of miles away. With digital advancements, everyone and everything is just a click, swipe, or voice prompt away.

Building intimate relationships online can be accessible, convenient, and provide a safe and controlled environment to explore romantic and sexual desires. People often say, “Thanks to the online world, finding a relationship is easier than ever.” Social networking sites and dating apps let users apply filters according to their preferences, enabling them to select potential partners based on their likes and dislikes. These platforms offer opportunities to connect, engage, and foster relationships, enabling the development of intimate connections across geographic distances. The anonymity offered by these platforms allows individuals to express themselves without fear of judgment.  

The Paradox of Choice and Its Psychological Impact

Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother aptly said, “The more choices you have, the harder it is to settle for just one. It’s a constant struggle.”  This sentiment is increasingly relevant in the digital age.While intimate interactions are crucial for emotional support, enhancing self-efficacy, and boosting self-esteem, the process of navigating online relationships can significantly influence individuals.

The abundance of choices can be overwhelming, leading to questions like, “They must have other options, so why would they ever choose me?” or “What if they have someone better there?” The plethora of choices available can also lead to a paradox of choice, causing uncertainty and doubt about the authenticity and sustainability of these connections. This paradox can foster feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as individuals constantly compare themselves to potential alternatives. The fear of missing out on a better option can prevent people from fully committing to one relationship, leading to superficial connections and emotional dissatisfaction. Ultimately, the paradox of choice underscores the importance of cultivating genuine connections and focusing on quality rather than quantity. 

Challenges of Digital Intimacy

Digital conversations around red flags, no strings attached, emotional unavailability, breadcrumbing, ghosting, and distractions from alternative online options can significantly impact one’s psychological well-being and understanding of intimate relationships. .The vast pool of potential partners can frequently feel hollow and unsatisfying. The fleeting nature of swipes and messages can leave users feeling disconnected and disposable, as the pursuit of instant gratification takes precedence over building genuine relationships. An absence of physical presence often leads to confusion, unease and creates a void in the relationship, resulting in emotional strain as individuals question the validity and sustainability of their connections and their self-perception.

The reliance on digital communication for emotional validation can negatively affect well-being. Misunderstandings and disagreements are more common due to the absence of nonverbal cues, leading to misinterpretations. Conflicts, particularly due to time zone differences, can intensify feelings of isolation. Emotional investment in online relationships may also lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when reality fails to meet those expectations.

Balancing Online Intimacy and Individual Well-being

To balance the benefits and challenges of online intimacy, it is essential to manage expectations and maintain a healthy perspective. Establishing clear boundaries regarding communication frequency and expectations can prevent misunderstandings and help maintain a healthy balance. Open and honest communication is vital to address any doubts, insecurities, or misunderstandings that may arise. It is important to understand that online relationships may not always meet all emotional needs and to be realistic about the limitations of digital intimacy. This was humorously highlighted in The Big Bang Theory when Raj said, “I think we need to define the parameters of our relationship. Are we in an emotional relationship or just an occasional Snapchat kind of thing?”

Engaging in activities that boost self-esteem and self-worth outside of the relationship ensures a well-rounded sense of self. This independent sense of self allows you to approach dating with greater authenticity and resilience, creating more fulfilling and balanced connections with potential partners. 

While digital connectivity offers unprecedented opportunities for building intimate relationships, it also presents unique challenges. By navigating these challenges thoughtfully and intentionally, individuals can foster meaningful connections that enhance their overall well-being.

The post Pixels and Emotions: Understanding Digital Intimacy and Its Challenges first appeared on Karma Care.

“You know, most girls would have laughed, texted back, or posted a status update.”

“Do I look like most girls?”

– Mean Girls 2, 2011 

You don’t have to be chronically online to know that the term “pick me girl” has been making its round on social media with more and more people talking about it and calling others out. But who is she? She’s not like other girls. She’s one of the guys because guys are less drama than girls. She is not a fan of make up, shopping or anything “girly”. She loves sports and beer and wearing sneakers and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. She’s different. 

“Pick me girl” is a term used to describe women who actively distance themselves from femininity in an attempt to gain attention from men. What sets her apart from any other woman who may not have feminine interests or traits is the fact that pick me behaviour comes at the expense of other women by putting them down in front of others, typically men. Statements like, “I’m not high maintenance like other girls, I’m super chill” or “I’m not like those girls who take forever to get ready” reflect the intention behind pick me behavior.

The origins of the pick me girl are rooted in patriarchy & internalized misogyny with pop culture & media as its messengers across populations. Growing up, we would watch movies & shows that portray women as one dimensional beings with no depth or story of their own – mere props or subplots for the main characters. And while it influenced our understanding of how most if not all women are, it also heavily conflicted with our understanding of myself because we were girls but we did have depth and interests and stories of our own, leading to the inevitable thought – “Ah, I must be different, different from the caricatures of women being presented on the big screen”. 

On top of this, we observed the way these women were treated by society. This was a time when our likes & interests were mocked & seen as inferior (and to a very large extent, it continues even today). Mocked for liking pink or girly drinks, considered stupid for caring about make up and clothes and hair, being looked down upon & shamed for just being. And that was scary. This fear of being rejected & ridiculed scared a lot of us which led to an (un)intentional distancing from everything considered typical of women, typical of being feminine. What maintained this distancing was the fact that on the other hand, all the cool girls in all the trending movies and shows and music videos were those who didn’t fit the stereotype, they were not feminine or girly – they’d order a pizza instead of a salad, wear black instead of pink, listen to rock music instead of pop boy bands & were more interested in playing sports than shopping. This isn’t to say that women can’t be all that, they definitely can but the portrayal was aimed at demeaning other women to highlight how awesome & fun & different the “cool girls” were as if liking girly things leaves them with no individuality. These were the women who were accepted by society, the kind men liked & desired. It was so important to be liked by men because that’s what we were told for so long – it was sold as “the dream” eventually ending with finding a husband and settling down. The male gaze takes the center stage in how we view not just ourselves but other women as well, making them our competition all stemming from a place of fear, anxiety and insecurity. And in this race of wanting male validation, everything and anything goes – rejecting our authentic selves & the way we want to be, and putting other women down as a declaration to the opposite sex – see? I’m different, I don’t do these annoying feminine things and I like things that guys like, so in the words of Meredith Grey, “pick me, choose me, love me”. 

Because of how everything in society is touched by patriarchy, this vicious cycle unfortunately continues, and this will not come to an end by merely calling people out and taking away their redemption. By pushing the “pick-me” label without unraveling the nuances behind it is an act of unfairness that robs people of a chance to understand their ways & grow. By limiting them to the “pick-me” label without offering any room for development is to diminish their identity to one single story, one dimension. 

Time and again, society brings up the idea that women are inherently against each other, that aurat hi aurat ki dushman hai, but it is important to acknowledge that this is a product of systemic structures that have long pitted women against each other. It’s this acknowledgement & understanding that can help us shift the narrative from judgement to empathy, creating a space that fosters change & solidarity. By extending empathy, we’re not taking away accountability but only creating a greater capacity for growth. Challenging stereotypes & decentering from the male gaze while cultivating a strong sense of self & finding support in community can slowly chip away at the systems leading to the pick me phenomenon. It’s a long journey ahead but then again, Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

The post Not Like Other Girls: A Dive Into The Pick Me Phenomenon first appeared on Karma Care.

Words you will seldom hear in an Indian household.

But we really need to talk-you and I.

“Don’t castrate, but educate,
At least to masturbate!”

–  Himmilicious

Learning about the birds and the bees is undeniably a daunting yet important task. However, providing comprehensive, pleasure positive sex education that is not driven by fear, in a sensitive and inclusive manner can help demystify this subject for young people.
In India, talking about sex, pleasure or intimacy can sometimes feel like tiptoeing through a minefield. It’s possible parents would choose a casual walk on said minefield than talk about sex with their children. Let’s take a step back and try to unpack the ignorance and shame that surrounds intimacy. 

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”
 — Mark Twain

It is crucial to understand that sex education isn’t just about the act of sex in itself; it’s about empowering individuals with knowledge and understanding to make informed choices about their bodies, health, pleasure and intimate relationships. It should explore values and beliefs about these topics and help people gain the skills that are needed to navigate relationships with themselves, their partners, and the community, as well as manage one’s own sexual and reproductive health. In India, sex has been a taboo topic for generations. Conversations about it are often hushed, if they happen at all yet we are 141.72 crores in population. Avoiding discussions about sex does not make it disappear.

Most people are naturally curious about their bodies and sexuality. Without proper guidance, they may turn to unreliable sources like peers or the internet for information, which can be inaccurate or misleading and very often is either fear driven or doesn’t account for different templates of safety. For instance, it is rare to talk about consent during sex ed, beyond the performative ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Here, pleasure positive sex education comes into play as it empowers young people with accurate, inclusive information, helping them make responsible decisions about their sexual health and relationships. It aims to break the taboos by encouraging open, honest conversations about topics like puberty, reproduction, contraception, consent, and above all – pleasure.

“You can’t catch Chlamydia from the air!”

 — Otis (Sex Education, 2019 Drama)

A 2019 study found that only 21% of Indian adolescents between 15-19 years old had comprehensive knowledge about HIV. Another survey revealed that 40% of women did not know that pregnancy could occur after having unprotected sex. These numbers underscore how a lack of basic information regarding sexual and reproductive health is widespread across the country. A critical aspect of sex education is of course teaching individuals about sexual health and hygiene, but in a way that doesn’t laud chastity and abstinence. 

Understanding how infections like HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are transmitted and prevented can save lives. With proper education, individuals are more likely to practise safe sex, use contraception effectively, and seek medical help when needed. 

Let’s talk about sex, baby!
Let’s talk about you and me
 — Salt n Pepa (1990 Song from album, Black’s Magic)  

Comprehensive sex education plays a vital role in shaping the attitudes and behaviours of individuals as they navigate relationships, intimacy, and sexuality during their lives. But a healthy sexuality is not merely about preventing negative outcomes – it’s about celebrating intimacy, bodily autonomy, and mutual pleasure within the context of consent. An obtrusive consequence of insufficient sex education in India is the dearth of knowledge and open dialogue around sexual pleasure, even within marriages. Many couples enter wedlock having received little to no instruction about the intricacies of sexual anatomy, arousal, intimacy, and having mutually satisfying experiences in the bedroom. Lack of sex and pleasure positive education translates into unfulfilling sex lives for far too many married couples. Normalised conversations through comprehensive sex ed have the power to break these regressive attitudes. Ultimately, prioritising sex ed lays the crucial groundwork for fostering a generation that values sexual health and treats sexual relationships with the gravity and care they deserve. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you.
There’s a lot wrong with the world you live in.”

 — Chris Colfer

India is a land of rich cultural heritage, with its history and traditions deeply rooted in diversity. Our culture is a vibrant tapestry with one of the most fascinating aspects of this richness being the nuanced understanding of sexuality, including homosexuality, in historical contexts. Indian history is replete with stories that encompass a broad spectrum of sexual orientations and identities, yet we stigmatise non-heteronormative sexualities. To tackle this we need pleasure-positive sex education to embrace our diversity and chart a course for a more inclusive future.

The normalisation and validation of diverse experiences and expressions allows one to develop self-esteem, self-acceptance, and overall improved mental health outcomes. This open-minded approach to sex education is key to building an Indian society grounded in bodily integrity, equality, and freedom from regressive prejudice that impedes psychological growth.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

 — Robert Frost

Inaction on this critical issue is unacceptable. Indian leaders, educators, parents, and youth themselves must join forces to bring comprehensive pleasure positive sex education into classrooms, communities, and homes nationwide. The path to progress relies on empowering people with truthful knowledge about their bodies and sexual health from a young age. The time is now to have these important conversations openly and responsibly.  

The post The Adam’s Apple: Answering the Whys to Sex Education first appeared on Karma Care.

Navigating the Unexpected Waters of Distance

This abrupt change marked our first real test. Transitioning into a long-distance relationship felt like being thrown into deep waters without a life jacket. Suddenly, the person who was just a short drive away became hours and time zones apart. This past year has been a rollercoaster of navigating through those challenges, learning a whole lot about patience, communication, and the strength of our bond. It’s a journey that’s been anything but picture-perfect, filled with moments of doubt, struggle, and growth.

The Struggles of Physical Separation

Honestly, the beginning was rough. Without the physical closeness we were so used to, every small misunderstanding seemed amplified. We struggled to adapt to our new dynamics, leading to arguments that neither of us saw coming. Time, something we once thought we had plenty of, became our biggest contention point.

Arguments about not giving each other enough attention or feeling neglected became frequent visitors in our conversations. And then, there were the insecurities. The kind that whispers doubts late at night, making you question fidelity and trust. It’s one thing to know your partner’s routine and another to suddenly be left imagining it from miles away.

There was a point where it felt like every call ended in frustration or tears. The distance seemed to magnify every tiny crack in our foundation. Fears of cheating, of growing apart, or simply becoming strangers to each other crept in. I’d be lying if I said that the thought didn’t cross my mind that maybe this was it—the end of us. It was a period filled with more downs than ups, and for a while, it seemed like every effort to bridge the gap between us was futile.

Rebuilding Trust and Strengthening Connection

Despite these challenges, giving up wasn’t in our nature. We started to realize that if we wanted to make it through, we had to confront our issues head-on. Communication became our lifeline, but not just any communication—the honest, raw, and sometimes painful kind. We began to really listen to each other’s fears and insecurities, understanding that acknowledgment was the first step towards addressing them.

We set ground rules, like virtual date nights, cooking together over video calls, sharing activities that could be done together, and transparent sharing of our daily lives, no matter how mundane some details seemed. My partner, whose primary love language is physical touch, made a conscious effort to use words of affirmation, understanding how significant those words were to me.

It wasn’t an overnight success story, and there were plenty of bumps along the way but we found our rhythm. The fights became less frequent, and when disagreements did arise, we handled them with more patience and understanding. The insecurity that once felt like a third wheel in our relationship started to fade as trust was rebuilt, piece by piece. We learned to find joy in the small moments and to appreciate our relationship on a deeper level.

Conclusion: Perseverance Through Distance

This past year of navigating a long-distance relationship taught us resilience and showed us the strength of our bond. It wasn’t always easy, and there were moments I doubted we’d make it through, but we emerged stronger and more in love than ever. Our experience has taught us that while long-distance relationships are challenging, they also offer unique opportunities for growth and deepening connections.

To anyone embarking on or currently going through a long-distance relationship, it’s important to remember that the journey will have its ups and downs. The distance can test you in ways you never imagined, but it can also strengthen your relationship, forging a bond that’s resilient and deeply connected.

Looking back, I’m grateful for the path we’ve taken. It wasn’t the future we had planned, but it’s our unique story, and it’s made us who we are today. Here’s to embracing the uncertainties of life, carrying the lessons we’ve learned with us, and looking forward to all the adventures that lie ahead.

The post More Than Miles: The Highs, Lows, and Everything In-Between first appeared on Karma Care.

Yet, the reality is, therapy often gets the short end of the stick, there’s a whole slew of reasons why people hesitate to seek professional help. Despite the progress, there’s still a bit of stigma lingering around therapy, making people hesitant to give it a shot. Then there’s the struggle of finding the right therapist – it can feel like trying to find a pearl in an ocean of shells. And don’t even get me started on the scepticisms some people have about whether therapy really works.

The Cost Perspective 

But let’s talk about the big issue: the cost. Therapy sessions can definitely hit the wallet pretty hard. But before we start throwing shades about the price tag, let’s compare it to a visit to the doc’s office.

Recently, I had a few rounds of doctor’s appointments due to some minor health concerns. And let me tell you, the experience was a stark contrast between two different worlds: the world of medicine and the world of therapy.

At the doctor’s, it’s all about diagnosing, prescribing, and getting you out the door as quickly as possible. Sure, some doctors take the time to listen, but many seem more focused on the next patient than really hearing you out – all while charging a pretty hefty amount for the brief consultation. 

The Therapist’s View 

But as therapists, I can’t help but notice the difference in our approach. Our focus isn’t on sticking to a standardized treatment protocol of quick fixes and magic pills, but it’s on creating a safe space for clients to explore their emotions and navigate their struggles. And let me tell you, it’s no walk in the park. The emotional toll of this work is immense.

Every session is an exercise in empathy, active listening, and deep understanding. So, while doctors play an incredibly crucial role in saving lives and may deal with physical exhaustion from their demanding schedules, we therapists carry the weight of our clients’ emotions on our shoulders and play a vital role in enhancing emotional and psychological wellbeing of our clients. It’s a responsibility that we don’t take lightly, and one that reminds me every day of the importance of our work—even if it comes with a hefty price tag.

Behind the Scenes

Sure, therapy might seem expensive, but trust me, being on this side of the table, I can tell you there’s a lot more to it than meets the eye. The years of education, training, and constant self-improvement don’t come cheap. And it doesn’t stop when the session ends. There’s prep work, reflection, and constant learning happening behind the scenes.

And contrary to popular belief, we’re not just getting paid to nod and smile as someone unloads their problems. It’s so much more than that. It’s about using every ounce of our emotional intelligence, listening skills, and analytical minds to help our clients untangle their thoughts and emotions. It’s like juggling a hundred different puzzle pieces while walking a tightrope. Because let’s face it, humans are complicated beings, and untangling their thoughts and emotions isn’t exactly a breeze. There is no standardized approach of treatment unlike in the realm of medical health care. How simple it would be if psychological interventions could be as quick and straightforward as medical care. Unlike popping a pill for a headache, therapy is more like diving deep into the messy, complicated stuff that makes us human.

Conclusion 

So yeah, therapy might seem pricey, but when you consider the effort and expertise that goes into it, it’s a whole different story. So next time you’re hesitating because of the cost, I hope you acknowledge the immense effort that goes behind the scene.

The post Unpacking Therapy: Beyond the Price Tag first appeared on Karma Care.

We are all guilty of bias. The training we go through as clinical psychologists, our knowledge and experiences influence the kind of choices we make in therapy. As clinical psychologists, we are trained to analyse and interpret human behaviour through a clinical lens, which even though is invaluable, can at times overshadow a holistic view of our clients.  Pathologizing refers to the tendency to view an individual’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours solely from the perspective of diagnosing them. Now, while this can provide valuable insight and direction, it should not be the only focus of therapeutic intervention. 

Abraham Maslow’s quote, “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail”, seems to resonate deeply in the context of mental health. Human psychology is complex and there are a multitude of factors that influence how we think, feel, and behave. Making quick judgements as mental health professionals based on a simple presentation of what appears wrong may cause us to miss the underlying issue. It might also lead us to focus solely on problems and overlook the client’s strengths, resilience, and potential for growth.

As a clinical psychologist myself, I’ve come to realise the limitations of pathologizing in therapy and have tried to navigate the balance between acknowledging the validity of diagnostic frameworks and recognizing their disadvantages. Adopting an affirmative, strengths-based approach that acknowledges one’s capacity for change and emphasises inherent resources has been my approach to therapy, and in doing so, I have witnessed the profound impact of the same on clients.

In embracing this approach, we not only challenge the stigma that is associated with mental illness but also acknowledge and celebrate the diversity there is in human experiences. Expanding on this idea of embracing diversity, it is therefore important to acknowledge that a one-size fits all approach to therapy is not only ineffective but could also be potentially harmful. We should strive to create a space that is more inclusive, which respects the unique backgrounds and experiences of all individuals. 

Therapy thus becomes a journey that is collaborative on the part of the client as well as the therapist, where work is done for the purpose of self-discovery and growth, where the client feels validated, supported, and understood. Through this reframing of our approach to therapy, we can create a space for clients to explore who they are, and cultivate a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. 

So, while diagnostic frameworks have their place in psychology, they should be complemented with a more holistic approach that is person-centred and not problem-centred. By shifting focus from pathology to possibility, we can create a therapeutic space where clients explore their experiences, develop insight, and cultivate coping skills, rather than dwelling on narrowly focusing on diagnoses.

The post The Pitfalls of Pathologizing: A Clinical Psychologist’s Perspective first appeared on Karma Care.

With the talk of body positivity at an all-time high, it’s time to address the political battleground that is the human form.

In an era where the phrase “body positivity” is thrown around more than confetti, it’s high time we unpack the baggage that comes with the so-called celebration of our ‘human vessels’. The concept that came up as an apparent beacon of self-love and acceptance, has now morphed into a political battleground where societal norms, gender expectations, and well-intentioned fitness influencers collide, often leaving one struggling to overlap ideas of their perceived and ideal selves.

As the discussion about embracing imperfections reaches an all-time high, it’s essential to put on our metaphorical hard hats and navigate through the construction site of modern body discourse.

The Holy Gendering

In the sacred scriptures of societal norms, our bodies have been consistently gendered. It’s like we’re all walking, talking about LEGO  sets, just waiting for someone to pick the right pieces. Because, of course, if you don’t fit into the prescribed gender roles, you risk the wrath of the Gender Police, armed with glitter-infused tickets for non-compliance.

And who can forget the age-old debate: Should temples be designated male or female? Is it a yoga studio or a man cave? A spa or a she-shed? The struggle, my friends, is real.

Our bodies, within the context of societal norms, have long been subject to gendering, likened to customizable figures awaiting societal approval. This touches upon the broader topics of gender roles and identity.

Body Positivity or Body Politricks?

Let’s break down the ever-trendy concept of body positivity. It’s like the Instagram of self-love – filtered, curated, and not always as genuine as it seems. Embrace your stretch marks, they say. Love your cellulite, they say. But when every billboard for fitness, when every underwear model, when every ‘self care’ brand photoshops their models how does one embrace something that is clearly seen as a flaw. What about the stretch marks on my patience and the cellulite on my tolerance for unsolicited body advice?

For more on this, explore Beauty Myths Debunked.

My Body is a Temple… Of Political Discourse

In the grand arena of politics, our bodies come across as pawns in the game of power. It’s not about personal choice; it’s about who can legislate the best dress code for your temple. Because, you know, nothing says freedom like having someone else decide what you can and cannot do with your own sacred space. And they do so in a way blatantly disguised as choice. Where is the choice when we are all drowning in the capitalism of what will better promote our ability to love our bodies. 

So, as we navigate this complex landscape of gendering, body positivity, and political body discourse, let us remember, our bodies may be ‘temples’ but the onus of loving yourself is not entirely yours. We cannot bring about change while screaming at people to love themselves in a system that actively works against the very idea of being at peace with who you are.

The post Is My Body a Temple? Understanding Body Positivity in Modern Times first appeared on Karma Care.

Let’s start with the concept of home which is close to home for every woman.. Their paternal home is deemed ‘paraya‘—belonging to someone else—while their in-laws’  home remains a place where full claim is often not granted. This dichotomy creates a  narrative where a woman finds herself without a true sense of belonging, security and stability; I can be cast out anytime as it is not actually my home? This  nature of the concept of home leaves many women in India caught between two worlds. The paternal home, despite being the place of her upbringing, is not the place she belongs, while the in-laws’ home may not offer the autonomy and belongingness that would typically be associated with one’s dwelling. So, where does the woman derive a sense of belonging? Here the  struggle to establish her identity within the pull of  In- laws’ and birth home becomes apparent. 

The phrase ‘Beti Paraya Dhan Hai’ —Daughter is someone else’s wealth—woven into the cultural fabric, reduces women to mere wealth and their identity to possession, reinforcing the idea that her true belonging lies elsewhere, contributing to her sense of invisibility. 

Pregnancy is frequently perceived not only as a biological process but also as a significant social and cultural event, shaping the identity and role of women within the community. Godhbharai, also known as the baby shower or the ceremony of filling the lap, is a traditional Indian ritual that celebrates the expectant mother. While on the surface, this ceremony appears to honor the woman and her impending motherhood, a closer look reveals the complexities surrounding the perception of women during pregnancy.While Godbharai is meant to celebrate the arrival of a new life, it often inadvertently diminishes the woman carrying this life. The focus on the unborn child eclipses the woman’s strength, sacrifices, and the profound journey of motherhood she embarks upon, leaving her invisible within the joyous ceremony. This is just the beginning.  

The  minimization of  pregnancy as a process  becomes evident as the ceremony revolves around gifts, blessings, and rituals directed predominantly towards the baby. The woman, the vessel for the developing life, often finds herself overshadowed by the social anticipation and celebration of the child. This phenomenon reflects a larger societal tendency to emphasize the maternal role primarily in relation to the child, many times neglecting the woman’s individual experience, challenges, and identity during pregnancy. The cultural narratives surrounding pregnancy  also extend to  postpartum. The emphasis on the child’s arrival may inadvertently downplay the significant physical, emotional, and social changes that women undergo during and after pregnancy.

In various aspects of life, women in India find themselves navigating a complex web of customs and traditions. Despite strides in education and employment, deeply ingrained societal expectations often cast a shadow over their roles and contributions, perpetuating traditional beliefs that confine women to predefined roles. In familial structures, the pressure to prioritize the family’s needs and adhere to established norms obscures their individual identities. The workplace presents its own challenges, with gender biases diminishing the visibility of their achievements. Social expectations around appearance and behavior further restrict women’s freedom, concealing their authentic selves. Intersectional challenges add layers to this invisibility, as factors like caste and religion compound the struggles faced by different groups of women.

*Picture Credits: Chitrakala

The post The Understated Invisibility of Women in Indian Traditions first appeared on Karma Care.

A few years ago, during a conversation with a friend, they mentioned taking a rest. When they returned, I asked, “How was your sleep?” They looked puzzled and replied, “When did I mention sleeping?” It then struck me that I had always assumed rest meant sleeping.

Sometimes, I wonder if I hadn’t realized that rest comes in different forms, I might never have understood why I feel joyful and relaxed at a dinner with friends. Mind you, going to dinner after work might sound exhausting, but somehow, it’s refreshing. Throughout our upbringing, we’ve been told that the best way to cope with tiredness, sadness, overwhelm, or exhaustion is to rest, which often translates to sleep. However, rest comes in various forms.

In our journey through life, we often delude ourselves into believing that we’ve adequately rested simply by ensuring we get enough sleep. Yet, in this misguided pursuit, we often overlook the various other forms of rest that our weary souls yearn for. The result? A society where individuals are driven to overachieve, and constantly produce, all while wrestling with relentless fatigue and the ever-present threat of burnout.

Perhaps, amid today’s hustle and bustle, we can find moments to rest.

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD, a physician and a researcher categorizes rest into different types in her book “Sacred Rest“

1. Physical Rest: It can be passive or active in nature. One can physically rest by either sleeping or taking power naps, or actively rest by engaging in activities like yoga, pilates, stretching, or jogging.
2. Mental Rest: You know how you’re working on a laptop with seven or more tabs open, each serving a different purpose, and after a while, your laptop heats up and starts to lag? That’s your cue to pause, slow down, and let your brain process. Similarly, mental rest is about giving your brain time to process information, allowing it to step away from the constant stream of information it’s processing.
3. Sensory Rest: In this tech-savvy world, being online is almost equivalent to being alive. According to a study, the average screen time for an Indian is up to six hours, accompanied by the constant ringing of phones, text notifications, and mindless scrolling on social media. All of this can leave our senses overwhelmed. Personally, I can relate, and using a peppermint roll-on somehow does the trick to center me. You can schedule a small digital detox to be mindfully absent from the digital world or simply close your eyes for a few minutes.
4. Creative Rest: It’s about immersing oneself in the beauty both around and within us. Creative rest can be especially helpful when struggling to find solutions or brainstorm. For many people, creative rest involves taking a walk, watching a sunset, listening to music, dancing, lying on the beach, or spending time with animals.
5. Emotional Rest: It’s about staying in touch with your authentic self. It doesn’t mean you’re not your true self at other times. It’s about giving yourself time and space to express yourself through whatever means you’re comfortable with.
6. Spiritual Rest: Spirituality holds different meanings for different people, but generally, it’s about having and feeling a deep connection to the world around us or to universal energy.
7. Social Rest: It’s about engaging mindfully in interactions with friends who rejuvenate us. After a long day, it’s often just what we need.

In a world that often glorifies the rat race, it’s time to challenge the conventional perspective on rest. It’s a departure from what we’ve long been conditioned to believe. For many, rest remains synonymous with sleep, but it can be much more. It can be a leisurely dinner with friends, a quiet moment of meditation, or perhaps a creative pursuit that sparks joy. In a culture that celebrates being constantly on the go and perpetually productive, I hope we can set an intention to be there for ourselves, actually making a choice to rest,  and prioritize our well-being in a world that often forgets the true value of taking a break.

The post The Many Faces of Rest first appeared on Karma Care.