Words you will seldom hear in an Indian household.

But we really need to talk-you and I.

“Don’t castrate, but educate,
At least to masturbate!”

–  Himmilicious

Learning about the birds and the bees is undeniably a daunting yet important task. However, providing comprehensive, pleasure positive sex education that is not driven by fear, in a sensitive and inclusive manner can help demystify this subject for young people.
In India, talking about sex, pleasure or intimacy can sometimes feel like tiptoeing through a minefield. It’s possible parents would choose a casual walk on said minefield than talk about sex with their children. Let’s take a step back and try to unpack the ignorance and shame that surrounds intimacy. 

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”
 — Mark Twain

It is crucial to understand that sex education isn’t just about the act of sex in itself; it’s about empowering individuals with knowledge and understanding to make informed choices about their bodies, health, pleasure and intimate relationships. It should explore values and beliefs about these topics and help people gain the skills that are needed to navigate relationships with themselves, their partners, and the community, as well as manage one’s own sexual and reproductive health. In India, sex has been a taboo topic for generations. Conversations about it are often hushed, if they happen at all yet we are 141.72 crores in population. Avoiding discussions about sex does not make it disappear.

Most people are naturally curious about their bodies and sexuality. Without proper guidance, they may turn to unreliable sources like peers or the internet for information, which can be inaccurate or misleading and very often is either fear driven or doesn’t account for different templates of safety. For instance, it is rare to talk about consent during sex ed, beyond the performative ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Here, pleasure positive sex education comes into play as it empowers young people with accurate, inclusive information, helping them make responsible decisions about their sexual health and relationships. It aims to break the taboos by encouraging open, honest conversations about topics like puberty, reproduction, contraception, consent, and above all – pleasure.

“You can’t catch Chlamydia from the air!”

 — Otis (Sex Education, 2019 Drama)

A 2019 study found that only 21% of Indian adolescents between 15-19 years old had comprehensive knowledge about HIV. Another survey revealed that 40% of women did not know that pregnancy could occur after having unprotected sex. These numbers underscore how a lack of basic information regarding sexual and reproductive health is widespread across the country. A critical aspect of sex education is of course teaching individuals about sexual health and hygiene, but in a way that doesn’t laud chastity and abstinence. 

Understanding how infections like HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are transmitted and prevented can save lives. With proper education, individuals are more likely to practise safe sex, use contraception effectively, and seek medical help when needed. 

Let’s talk about sex, baby!
Let’s talk about you and me
 — Salt n Pepa (1990 Song from album, Black’s Magic)  

Comprehensive sex education plays a vital role in shaping the attitudes and behaviours of individuals as they navigate relationships, intimacy, and sexuality during their lives. But a healthy sexuality is not merely about preventing negative outcomes – it’s about celebrating intimacy, bodily autonomy, and mutual pleasure within the context of consent. An obtrusive consequence of insufficient sex education in India is the dearth of knowledge and open dialogue around sexual pleasure, even within marriages. Many couples enter wedlock having received little to no instruction about the intricacies of sexual anatomy, arousal, intimacy, and having mutually satisfying experiences in the bedroom. Lack of sex and pleasure positive education translates into unfulfilling sex lives for far too many married couples. Normalised conversations through comprehensive sex ed have the power to break these regressive attitudes. Ultimately, prioritising sex ed lays the crucial groundwork for fostering a generation that values sexual health and treats sexual relationships with the gravity and care they deserve. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you.
There’s a lot wrong with the world you live in.”

 — Chris Colfer

India is a land of rich cultural heritage, with its history and traditions deeply rooted in diversity. Our culture is a vibrant tapestry with one of the most fascinating aspects of this richness being the nuanced understanding of sexuality, including homosexuality, in historical contexts. Indian history is replete with stories that encompass a broad spectrum of sexual orientations and identities, yet we stigmatise non-heteronormative sexualities. To tackle this we need pleasure-positive sex education to embrace our diversity and chart a course for a more inclusive future.

The normalisation and validation of diverse experiences and expressions allows one to develop self-esteem, self-acceptance, and overall improved mental health outcomes. This open-minded approach to sex education is key to building an Indian society grounded in bodily integrity, equality, and freedom from regressive prejudice that impedes psychological growth.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

 — Robert Frost

Inaction on this critical issue is unacceptable. Indian leaders, educators, parents, and youth themselves must join forces to bring comprehensive pleasure positive sex education into classrooms, communities, and homes nationwide. The path to progress relies on empowering people with truthful knowledge about their bodies and sexual health from a young age. The time is now to have these important conversations openly and responsibly.  

The post The Adam’s Apple: Answering the Whys to Sex Education first appeared on Karma Care.

The experience also became somewhat alienating as I did not understand my mother’s response to her father’s loss and more so, I felt helpless to not see her at ease. In alignment with what Yalom says, “what is terrifying about death is that it implies the dissolution of one’s world”, I did see her world dissolving and subsequently being terrified. She withdrew in different ways from several spaces, did not feel like going anywhere, cried a lot. I was a mere spectator, a listener for sure but still felt like I didn’t really get it. Since then, grief as a word or a process was always something that I was indifferent to and slightly unfamiliar too.

As I delved into psychology, over time I learnt that grief was majorly about loss and not necessarily in the form of death. Later, it expanded to how grief never goes away and one grows around it. It took me a while to understand what grief is and how I respond to it. More so I felt like I didn’t respond to it because I did not fully comprehend it and therefore, probably shouldn’t respond to it because how inauthentic of me it would be to respond to something I do not fully understand. This led me to wonder if I ever will be able to understand it in its entirety and concluded that I might as well not expect myself to. Consequently, I found myself dismissing my own experiences of loss, telling myself, “Oh it’s not grief”, because I did not experience as intense of a reaction as I had witnessed what grief led to. I probably dealt with the confusion around grief by isolating feeling from knowing, from knowing my own feelings. Eventually though, I started to think and realize that I can’t be alien to it anymore, in a profession coming face to face with grief every day, I can’t keep isolating my own feelings and working with the same while being distant.

Gradually through this therapeutic journey, I have definitely learnt that grief is personal. We grieve so much- an unfulfilled promise, loss of a position, the realization that what belonged to us but might not be ours or at least not ours permanently, experiencing solitude and experiencing in solitude. We often grieve about how those close to us do not know how to respond to our grief, about the roles that we can’t fulfil of the one that has left to an extent that grieving starts to feel like a burden. It’s colourful in the form of different shades that it manifests in. It can take the form of resignation, not being able to recognize oneself anymore, wanting to scream but not being able to, a perpetual state of incompleteness or discomfort, purposelessness, feeling different or readjusting and rebuilding. Every new experience can connect to the memories of the past, feeling like it’s only you that is missing the other (the loss). Additionally, a lost sense of confidence and difficulty in letting go. I guess it is like building a home and leaving it. By working with these different shades of grief, it’s comforting (always in process and progress) for me to be able to hold space for grief, not feeling helpless or clueless as I have taken off the pressure to have a clue or to comprehend it fully and that is relieving.

One of the aims of grief counselling is to facilitate the client to accept the reality of the loss, but it does to an extent feel like losing grip of reality. So maybe grief is like losing grip on reality, however gradually regaining hold onto something- a newer meaning, the loss, sense of self, reality or the acceptance of transience.

“Unhold and Hold”

The post All About Grief: An expansion on the understanding of grief as a practitioner first appeared on Karma Care.

The post Unveiling the Journey of a Law Student in Forensic Psychology first appeared on Karma Care.

What is adrenal fatigue?

Adrenal fatigue is a condition in which the adrenal glands, which are responsible for producing hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, become exhausted and are unable to produce sufficient levels of these hormones. Burnout, on the other hand, is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Symptoms of adrenal fatigue include fatigue, difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, brain fog, low blood pressure, sugar and salt cravings, and difficulty handling stress. So you may not be feeling your mojo majorly because your glands are tired and not producing enough cortisol to keep you on your toes all the time.

Let’s look at why it happens:

There are several potential causes of adrenal fatigue. One of the main causes is chronic stress. Stress is anything that exceeds an individual’s capacity to cope. Too many projects with short-term deadlines may cause stress. When the body is exposed to stress, the adrenal glands release cortisol and other hormones to help the body cope. However, if the stress is chronic and prolonged, the adrenal glands can become exhausted and stop producing sufficient levels of these hormones. Other causes of adrenal fatigue include poor diet, lack of sleep, and chronic infections or illnesses.

Adrenal fatigue vs Burnout

Adrenal fatigue is different from burnout. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. So burnout is a stage that follows Adrenal fatigue. Symptoms of burnout include exhaustion, cynicism, and a feeling of being disconnected from work or other activities that were once enjoyable. Burnout can also cause physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive issues, and difficulty sleeping. There are several potential causes of burnout. One of the main causes is chronic stress, particularly when the stress is related to work. Other causes of burnout include lack of control or autonomy in the workplace, unclear job expectations, and lack of social support. Burnout is evident in mostly all jobs given the workload and the timings that everyone works towards. However, it is not an end-all situation. We still have the power to minimise if not erase the burnout.  

If you are experiencing symptoms that you believe may be related to adrenal fatigue or burnout, it is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional to rule out any underlying medical conditions. That being said, the treatment approach for these conditions is similar to that for managing stress and improving overall health and well-being.

Here are 8 strategies that may be helpful: 

1. Get enough sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night to help your body recover and recharge.
2. Manage stress: Engage in stress-reducing activities such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises.
3. Eat a healthy diet: Consume a well-balanced diet rich in whole foods, fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats. 
4. Exercise regularly: Moderate exercise, such as walking or cycling, can help reduce stress and improve energy levels.
5. Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that you enjoy, such as reading, taking a bath, or spending time with loved ones.
6. Set boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain your energy and prioritize activities that are important to you.
7. Seek support: Consider talking to a therapist or counsellor to help manage stress and improve coping skills.
8. Consider supplements: Talk to your healthcare provider about supplements that may support adrenal function.

Remember, it is important to consult with a healthcare professional before making any significant lifestyle changes or taking any supplements, especially if you have underlying medical conditions or are taking medication.

The post Adrenal Fatigue and Burnout first appeared on Karma Care.

As the years pass by, hustle culture and productivity are taking over our lives. Our jobs now consist of long working hours and even longer working days. While having such overwrought lives, our health takes a back seat; which as time passes by, becomes more astringent and chronic. We have to be more mindful of what we can do, so we can be in better health. Following are a few tips that may help you in availing a balance between your hectic work life and health: 

• Prioritize Sleep: Try and aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night to allow your body to recuperate from the day’s stress. As our work gets more hectic, sleep is the first sacrifice we make and is usually superseded by gregarious media scrolling. This usually leads to an unfulfilling, unhealthy sleep cycle. Inadequate sleep leads to lower health.

• Exercise Consistently: Exercising has great benefits for health, this is a well-kempt fact. While it does sound overwhelming to incorporate exercise into your schedule, remember that you don’t have to encumber yourself. Even just a short 10-minute walk or small workout during your lunch break can boost your energy levels and mitigate stress. A body movement break will make you feel better about yourself, along with its numerous other health benefits. 

• Soak in some Sunlight: Getting daily sunlight is very essential. It facilitates regulating our sleep cycle (by having a positive effect on melatonin- which helps regulate our slumber). Keep in mind that you do not have to view the sun as it crosses the horizon but you do need to see it when it’s relatively low in the morning and ideally afternoon/evening too for 5 to 10 minutes on clear days and 20 to 30 minutes on overcast days. Do not wear sunglasses during that time. Eyeglasses and contact lenses, however, are okay. 

• Eat a Healthy Diet: Your food makes your mood. How you feel can be directly proportional to the kinds of food you eat. So make sure you are eating high-protein, high-fibre foods. They keep you energized and help compensate for supplements that you might not be getting. Another essential aspect is to keep yourself hydrated. Imbibing on caffeine can make you dehydrated. To keep your body well-functioning, and to flush out all the toxins, hydration is paramount.  

• Take a break from your Workstation: Sitting for long hours has been linked to several health conditions like increased blood pressure, and high blood sugar. Taking small breaks from sitting would help you feel better and additionally allows your body a much-needed break from work. Additionally, ensure you take short breaks throughout the day to rest your eyes, stretch your legs, and give your mind a break. Eat your lunch away from the computer. This will give you a break from your screen time as well as allow you to eat mindfully. If you find yourself gazing at screens all day, try practising the 20-20-20 rule. Every 20 minutes spent using a screen, try to look away at something that is 20 feet away from you for a total of 20 seconds. 

• Practice Stress Management Techniques: Stress has a tendency to leave you chronically burned out. One of the ways to stop this is to engage in stress-reducing techniques like yoga, meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling. These are mindfulness activities that bring you back to the present. This helps in increasing our attention span and reducing cognitive fatigue.

• Set Realistic Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries is consequential in all areas of life. Healthy boundaries ascertain that you are not depleted by taking more on your plate than you can chew. Learn to say no when you need to, and learn to recognise when that need arises. Don’t hesitate in delegating tasks to others when possible. If you are having an exorbitant amount on your plate, let the higher-ups know. Divide your work. To maintain mental wellness, it is essential to set limits and maintain healthy boundaries. It is easy to find yourself working late on a project or agreeing to more projects than you can handle. However, it is important to remember that it is healthy to say “no” if agreeing to it will take a toll on your well-being.

• Make time for Hobbies and Socializing: Try not to lose out on your interests for the sake of work. Ascertain you have time for the things you relish outside of work to help you relax and recharge. It doesn’t have to be an astronomically immense-time commitment, even 2-3 hours a week would probably make you feel better.

• Manage your Time efficiently: Scheduling can make your life so much easier. Setting aside even a few minutes to make to-do lists and set deadlines for yourself to help you stay on top of your workload and avoid feeling overwhelmed. It will also help you allocate time for important things like your interests and family. 

• Personalize your space: Add some indoor green plants to your workspace, this will add a personal touch to your workplace and make it feel like your own. It might help you feel nice and at ease.

The above-mentioned pointers are a few ways to keep your physical and mental health in check. It may sound like an inordinate amount of work to do, but small habits can alter your days and these, if adhered to, can transform your life. Here’s to wishing you the best of health.

The post Harmonizing Self-Care & A Hectic Work Schedule first appeared on Karma Care.

What is the male gaze? Basically everything you’ve ever seen on screen and text. Movies, music videos, advertisements anywhere you look, male gaze is prevalent. This is because the entire society has been built on patriarchal norms – which immediately presumes that the main consumer of art is a cis-man. When a movie introduces any female lead, most of the time, it starts from her legs, moves up and stays at her chest, focuses on the hair and then finally reaches her face. That is quite reflective of the quintessential way a woman is “checked out”. 

While the male gaze over the past few decades has been really reviewed and debated over, the female gaze is still a newer concept. The most logical way of explaining female gaze is simply reverting the above given definition and substituting the genders:“The female gaze is the way in which the visual arts and literature depict the world and men from a feminine point of view, presenting men as objects of female pleasure”. However the female gaze is much more than that. Jill Soloway, the award-winning creator of American Television Series “Transparent”, claimed the phrase and attempted to define it at the 2016 Toronto Film Festival. 

She claims that the female gaze is much more than just having films focused on women – it is about actually using emotions and feelings to represent a film. It also focuses on being more than just an avenue for women to return the gaze, but also be a critic of the already existing notions of the male gaze. It calls out the male gaze. The idea is to use the female gaze as a conscious effort to create empathy, as a political tool – it is the other gaze, the gaze that questions all gazes.

Films are a reflection of society; they portray the social, cultural and political reality of any society or nation. India is a vast nation with multiple regional cinemas, however the present article mainly focuses on mainstream Hindi Cinema or “Bollywood” because it is seen to exercise widespread influence over people and enjoys mass appeal. Popular cinema and culture derive from each other. Films are believed to be the opium of the Indian masses, as people rely on this medium to help them escape into a world of fantasy (Gokulsingh). Especially in India, cinema has had a very symbiotic relationship in terms of culture, society and politics, because as much as these three factors affect cinema, cinema affects them as well. 

There is no question to the fact that India is an extremely patriarchal nation. The foundations of our society like every other have been built on the norms dictated by patriarchy, which essentially means that the man is the superior gender. The narratives of Hindi cinema have undoubtedly been male dominated and male centric. Themes have been explored from the male audience’s point of view. The heroine is always secondary to the hero. Her role is charted out in the context of the male character, who is central to the script.

Though there exists a body of feminist film making in Hindi cinema, the leading ladies of Hindi films have more or less played defined roles, which conform to the values upheld by the Indian society. Women in Bollywood have been uni-dimensional characters, who are good or bad, white or black. There are no shades of grey. This dichotomy has been reinforced through popular films, which distinguished between the heroine and the vamp, the wife and the other woman. The woman can be one of two things; docile, domestic, honourable, noble, and ideal or she is the other extreme – wayward, reckless and irresponsible. There is no middle ground, there is no reality exhibited. One movie that clearly depicts this dichotomy is David Dhawan’s Biwi No. 1. The wife played by Karishma Kapoor is shown to have sacrificed her successful career to experience domestic bliss with her husband Salman Khan. When the husband strays, it is the other woman (Sushmita Sen) who is blamed for the same and is demonised all through the film. Meanwhile the husband who is the actual adulterer gets merrily forgiven at the end of the movie.

While this is just one example, cinema even now mainly caters to the male viewer. Women’s roles are extremely shallow; they’re in the archetypal role of the mother, sister or partner. Of course recently, contemporary cinema has attempted to explore taboo subjects like sexuality, infidelity, surrogacy, divorce, live in relations and have started to question patriarchy. However, in most of these cases, the audiences fail to question their society themselves because until and unless you do not show the audience subjugation in terms of violence, they do not want to believe that patriarchy exists. 

Our politics also influences the sort of cinema which has been more than evident in recent times. The number of cuts and certifications the Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) has been doing recently is very reflective of having a certain majoritarian ideology. A recent debacle that took place was when CBFC refused a certificate for a coming of age movie called “Lipstick Under My Burkha”. Their reason being: “The story is lady oriented, their fantasy above life. There are contagious [sic] sexual scenes, abusive words, audio pornography and a bit sensitive touch about one particular section of society”. Because God forbid women have sexual thoughts. This sort of mentality that suggests that women cannot think in a certain way is testament to the fact that we are still in a society which refuses to believe that a woman is free to think of whatever she wants. 

A need for change is imminent because that is the only way we will grow. Cinema has to create a separate and independent space for Indian women to help them grow and understand their full potential. We need more female directors and more directors who are willing to not conform to what society dictates. Cinema’s only end is not to entertain. It must begin a quest for social change through entertainment. It’s using film to awaken a sense of understanding and knowing amongst the population, to see beyond what is right in front of their faces. The purpose of the female gaze is to question everything. 

Bibliography:

1) Eaton, E.W. (September 2008). “Feminist philosophy of art”. Philosophy Compass. Wiley. 3 (5): 873–893

2) Mulvey, Laura. “Visual pleasure and narrative cinema.” Visual and other pleasures. Palgrave Macmillan UK, 1989. 14-26.

3) Gokulsingh, K.M., & Dissanayake, W. (1998). Indian Popular Cinema: A narrative of cultural change. (pp. 88). U.K., Trentham Books Limited.

The post The Effect of Political and Cultural Events on the Female Gaze first appeared on Karma Care.

Online counselling presented a wide range of opportunities alongside a host of challenges. Alternate forms of counselling such as tele-counselling and chat-based counselling had been existing since the advent of the internet. Even counselling over video calls was used as a frequent substitute for in-person sessions. When the lockdown meant a complete shutdown of physical activities, these alternatives came to our rescue. Moreover, the pandemic created a rather contextual problem that pushed people to seek therapy. When I started to explore the history of presenting problems that my clients came in with, almost all of them attributed it to the onset of the pandemic. Therefore, it felt like I was being trained with certain specific sensibilities in mind. My primary mode of conducting therapy went hand in hand with the problems that were unique to the pandemic.

With no prior experience of in-person counselling, I had no particular reference point to build my expectations around. However, having studied the pros and cons of online counselling, I had a fair idea of what I was getting into. I anticipated it to be a more mechanical process because of a lack of human presence. One of my biggest fears was the availability of the internet and other technical problems that might arise due to taking sessions on electronic gadgets. I had to cancel or reschedule several sessions because either one of us lost the internet, or the electricity went off, and sometimes the call started lagging between the sessions. Time and again, connectivity issues interrupted the process of connecting with the session for both me and my clients. In a way, it did hamper the flow of our sessions. What also lived up to my expectations from online counselling was the ease of making appointments and rescheduling. The mobility that came with taking therapy online gave the clients much-needed ease for choosing the pace with which they could take sessions.

Nonetheless, this connectivity problem turned out to be a major hindrance over time. Hindrance not only in terms of the internet but the very medium of communication itself. What has been a long-standing critique of online therapy was experienced in my practice as well. A significant lack of non-verbal communication hampers the therapeutic relationship (Barak et al., 2008; Stoll et al., 2020). When I see my clients, I only get to see a certain side of them that is visible on my screen. I miss out on perceiving their bodily reactions to what happens during our sessions or how they respond to my comments. I am unable to generate comprehensive feedback that will enhance my communication with clients. Most importantly, an online session takes away the physical presence of the person which helps strengthen the therapeutic relationship. While discussing the importance of space in the context of building therapeutic relationships, Stickley and Freshwater (2009) emphasize the vitality of physical presence in doing so. Online therapy distances the client from the therapist, in quite a literal way.

However, online therapy presented some great opportunities and benefits that made this experience unique for both me and my clients. Meeting in an online space meant that clients could avoid the hassle of commuting, thereby increasing their usual availability for the sessions (Situmorang, 2020). Similarly, scheduling, rescheduling, and cancelling appointments became much more flexible as compared to in-person therapy. The most beneficial aspect is accessibility (Stoll et al., 2020). It meant the removal of all sorts of physical limitations, including geographical ones. Clients did not have to rely on the therapists available in their vicinity. I had clients from across the country and even from abroad. Online counselling allowed me to provide my services to a wide range of people who required counselling. But this accessibility came at a cost. The space and its importance, as mentioned earlier, were compromised. Since clients took the sessions from their homes, they could not ensure a distraction-free environment. When taking in-person sessions, we strive to create an environment within the counselling room that would enable the client to focus on the here and now while remaining connected to the session. Clients would often be disturbed by others living in their homes, a doorbell, someone calling them, and so on. This affected the flow of our sessions. Many a time, clients could not even take the sessions, because their parents and relatives were around. Thus, ultimately hampering the client’s sense of privacy which would have otherwise been addressed within the counselling room.

Lastly, another challenge associated with online counselling was identified through my experience of being on both sides of the table, i.e., as a client and as a therapist. When I used to go to my counselling centre, I had created a routine, a ritual of sorts. Going to the centre itself signified, going away from the chaos I was surrounded by. This ritual by itself was a grounding exercise. Similarly, after each session, the commute back to my place, allowed me to process the happenings of the session before I would enter the world again. This is another form of space that made therapy more effective for me. However, I found the opportunity for such kind of space to be lacking for my clients. Taking online sessions from their homes meant that clients did not have any buffer period to process anything. While taking online sessions for myself, I found it hard to continue my day after having an intense hourof the session. I anticipated the same for my clients as well. Therefore, I encouraged them to take a break after each session. To engage in relaxation activities before continuing with their day. At times, I even provided mini-breaks within the session hour for them to take a pause and process the moment.

Each benefit of online counselling comes with a disadvantage too. As of now, I have been able to navigate my way around it. Our recent increase in engagement with this platform also convinces me that online counselling is here to stay. Internet-based counselling interventions were started as supplements to the more traditional forms of counselling (Barak et al., 2008). However, the global pandemic has caused us to relook at these services. They are rapidly changing from supplements to more active alternatives. In my experience, the pros have outweighed the cons, till now. But the traditional form of in-person counselling still has its stronghold.

References

1. Barak, A., Hen, L., Boniel-Nissim, M., & Shapira, N. (2008). A Comprehensive Review and a Meta-Analysis of the Effectiveness of Internet-Based Psychotherapeutic Interventions. Journal of Technology in Human Services, 26(2–4), 109–160. https://doi.org/10.1080/15228830802094429

2. Situmorang, D. D. B. (2020). Online/Cyber Counseling Services in the COVID-19 Outbreak: Are They Really New? Journal of Pastoral Care & Counseling, 74(3), 166–174. https://doi.org/10.1177/1542305020948170

3. Stickley, T., & Freshwater, D. (2009). The concept of space in the context of the therapeutic relationship. Mental Health Practice (through 2013), 12(6), 28–30.

4. Stoll, J., Müller, J. A., & Trachsel, M. (2020). Ethical Issues in Online Psychotherapy: A Narrative Review. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10, 993. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00993

The post Counselling in the Age of Pandemic: Expectations, Strengths, and Challenges first appeared on Karma Care.

We often find ourselves stuck in situations, or thoughts which can cause anxiety, worry, fear, uneasiness, or nervousness. The intensity of these feelings can vary from person to person, and each of us has our own way to cope with them or be a mere witness to them. I’m here to share the story of something that helped and still helps me immensely. 

Music. Research at John Hopkins university shows that listening to music is the best brain workout. It can help reduce stress, blood pressure, anxiety and boosts the mood, memory, and sleeping habits.

It is believed that 40,000 years ago a man named Jubal played the flute which led to the creation of music for Amphion, a son of the God Zeus. Bullshi*t? 

However it is also presumed that humans used different sounds to express anger, joy, or fear and hence, these sounds were later set in rhythm to further create/invent music. I have always debated this theory as I feel music was ‘discovered’ and not ‘invented’ because if we think about it, there is music in everything around us. It has been ever since the BIG BANG. There is music, even in silence. From the sound of wind to the rustling of leaves is music. From the gently whipersing waves to the thundering large waves is music. 

Traveling in an airplane for someone who has an immense fear of flights can be one of the most challenging experiences for a person. I was that person. I could feel my chest bloat up, and my throat gulp up with fear, anxiety, and restlessness. I could feel the eyes of the air hostess on me as I shook my legs in nervousness and watched my hands shiver. We were seconds away from take off, and I had realized how heightened my auditory senses had become to each sound the planes’ jet engine, gear, and tyre were making. All of a sudden I had procured the inside of Clark Kent’s ear and was exerting his Superman Hearing power (the ability to hear sounds at many frequencies and over great distances, with incredible clarity). Yes! I am exaggerating the Superman bit. It’s my story. 

The little chit chat between the passengers did not seem to be a distraction either. I was stuck. The plane was now making its last turn before the climax (take off). I knew it was about to get louder and I would probably explode if this big stone of fear and anxiety in my chest was not removed. As I sat there thoughtless, with no plan of action, I felt my hand grab my earphones and my phone, plugged my earphones in those Superman ringing ears and played, Don’t stop me now by Queen.

There was suddenly an epiphany of relief. It’s absolutely amazing and fascinating to see how just a few sound beats can make your mood shift, help let go of unwanted thoughts, or enhance your daily routine.

The post The Power of Music first appeared on Karma Care.

The first time it happened, I felt my brain would malfunction and I’d stop breathing in front of people. I looked at my friend with complete confusion, as I felt this ache in my head and how suddenly my body didn’t seem to be MY body anymore. It was like I was staring at myself with my eyes open and imagining the worst to happen. This ticking voice inside my head was saying, “any minute now!” I told her I needed to go out. I mean let’s be honest if this was going to happen, (‘my death’) I’d like to at least, make it a fight. So, I got up and started walking in a hurry, not knowing who to go to or what to do. I walked back and forth restlessly trying to understand what was going on inside my body.

Why was my head giving up on me? What muddled up chemical was inside my head trying to dope me with complete melancholy? But I bet that eerie inside me was laughing at me as it had decided to make things worse. That little devil had now reached my throat, and I felt this huge ball surrounding and crushing my windpipe, making it very difficult for me to breathe. I was in pain, in complete physical and mental pain. Now, if I was in one of those Quentin Tarantino movies, this pain I was feeling could easily be controlled where I would just grab my Heckler and Koch 416 assault rifle and shoot the brains out of whatever was giving it to me and the only thing that’d scare me later would be the unimaginable amount of blood on the floor. But guess what, this wasn’t one of those movies, this was the real me standing outside the library square building of my university, and this wasn’t that kind of pain. Stay with me as it gets better at the end.

The stubborn devil causing me the pain was me. The other part of me. And I couldn’t kill me. I’d be pretty darn stupid to do that. So, all I did was wait, wait for it to stop killing me or wait for it to kill me. Whatever it decided. And I waited. I waited for 14 ½ long hours. And by then I was exhausted. I was exhausted from the pain. I had given up. I hadn’t cried. I hadn’t died either. But I was lifeless. You know how sometimes you are so hungry for so long that at the end you don’t even want to eat. That’s what it felt like. As it finally stops, you don’t even want to know what it felt like to not have that big rock living on your chest.

But let me state the worst yet the best part.

Now that it comes to you. It would never leave you. That ache is going to stay with you like a parasite and remind you of that curious confusing disturbing pain from time to time. It’d hit you like a million bullets when you’re sitting with your family playing a game of monopoly, or it’d sting you lightly every time you went out with your friends to your favourite bridge to watch the sunrise. And even if it’s asleep like a pig after a giant meal of your beautiful mind’s nerve cells, it’ll never let you forget about it. When you’re having your happiest moments in life and watching your favourite TV show with your favourite people in the world having a good nerve cracking laugh, you’d innocently find yourself thinking about it and scare yourself with a little prayer for your health and safety.

And that is the best part about it too. First, we need to remember, this feeling does and will come down, you can and will feel a true sense of happiness with time. Secondly, don’t mistake me for being optimistic as I’m only being realistic. Being reminded of the worst at your best times gives you a true sense of appreciation. (If that’s even a word) Only a broken heart can know how to truly love. Only a crying baby can feel true laughter when you drop one of those random stunts to make those weirdos laugh. Only a rotten soul would feel true freedom after it’s brought to light. Because, as they say, there wouldn’t have been light in the first place if it wasn’t for the darkness.

The post My Story Through Anxiety first appeared on Karma Care.

When folks die by suicide, we often overlook their psycho-social contexts. Simultaneously, we weave multiple blame-laden stories around it. What goes un-noticed is the fact that, suicide may be an impulsive action but not an impulsive decision. We humans are hard-wired to protect ourselves, but mental health struggles can be so isolating that we lose hope for betterment along the way. 

Why is a mental health disease not studied, treated, and acknowledged the same as dengue, typhoid, or a mere cold. Why has it taken more than 56 million people suffering from depression and 38 million people suffering from anxiety to address this issue? (The Logic Indian, 2021).  And yet, after 14% of India is deeply affected by this, we are condemned to hear that, “sab dimaag mein hai, aisa kuch nahi hota” (it’s all in your head, nothing like this exists). People strictly associate all kinds of mental illness to a life-long parade of Jack Torrance from the Shining or the viciously threatening Hannibal Lector which forces them to believe the sufferer must be locked up in a mental institute. Hence, the use of derogatory words such as “mad” and “retarded” are arbitrarily slipped into conversations. 

The impenetrable bubble of “norms” and “social conduct” has imprisoned the people of India to follow a mandate instructing the ‘right way of living life,’ ‘the perfect body,’ ‘the correct skin colour.’ This societal approved manual has created a superfluous pressure on people announcing any exceptions as unethical, immoral, or acting weak. Therefore, it’s imperative to break away from such narratives and TALK ABOUT the issues revolving around mental health.

The post Mental Health Matters! first appeared on Karma Care.